Toothpaste

Okay, what is the deal with kids and their bathrooms? I'm going to start by saying that number one- I realize that often my own bathroom is not exactly the mecca of cleanliness, number two- I'm totally aware that I was the very same when I was a kid, and three- at least I don't share a bathroom with my kids anymore. Well, in theory I don't. The little ones still manage to have a lot of baths in my 'big, fun, tub' and the older teenage girl running around my house seems to live under the impression that all my cosmetics actually belong to her, but I realize it could be worse. Gar and I did spend a lot of years stepping on tub toys and slipping on spilled baby wash.

That said, the kid's bathroom makes me nuts. Whoever can devise a toothpaste container that can be safely used by children without the toothpaste becoming fingerpaint is going to make bank. (Tyler this is one for Kimberly-Clark to put some serious thought into) I realize that a toothpaste tube has to eventually let the toothpaste out, so my toothpaste goal is unlikely to be realized, but seriously. In the amount of time I have spent over the past 13 years wiping toothpaste off sinks, faucets, mirrors, and drawers, I'm pretty sure I could have read the complete works of Shakespeare. My personal favorite is totally hardened blobs of toothpaste inside the drawer. Especially when these blobs have hardened with hair, clippies, and band-aid wrappers stuck in them. A formidable cleaning challenge even for the likes of Martha Stewart.

If we are talking a significant amount of toothpaste it can be legitimately difficult to clean. Any cleaner is hard to clean. Anything that foams just makes trouble. Once when Ethan was very small he walked all over the upstairs holding a bottle of Soft Scrub upside down so it dribbled on the carpet in literally every room. It's cleaner. Doesn't this mean it should be easy to clean? It was one of the worst messes ever. Took me all afternoon. It was not, however as bad as an entire Costco bag of powdered sugar sprinkled all over the playroom. (also Ethan, do I spot a trend?)

The toothpaste, of course, is just the beginning in the bathroom. I could go on about empty shampoo bottles, I'm talking about bottles you find empty two days after purchasing said bottle. Or I could talk about wet towels. Stop laughing mom, I realize I am the worst wet towel offender in the history of earth, but now I get it. We could talk about dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. I don't really mind this so much except for now that the kids are getting older, I'm often downright afraid of their dirty clothes. I think I need one of those grabbers like my mother-in-law has. She has it so she can pick things up without bending over. I need one so I can pick the clothes up without catching fifty different diseases. I could talk about hairspray on the door and mascara on the mirror, but I'm getting tired just thinking about my kid's bathroom.

I don't mean to harp on my kids. I know full well they are not unique, that this behavior is pretty normal. They are in no way bad kids because of this behvior, they are just kids. I have told Gary that one of my favorite things about going to playgroup is the reassurance you get seeing that other kids hit, spit, and throw tantrums, not just yours. I feel the same way about Relief Society. Strange comment I know. Hang with me. In some weird and warped way it is thrilling to be asked to help clean someone's home when they are on bedrest or when they are moving. I realize it's probably wrong to take pleasure in other people's messes. But do I judge them when I have to clean their toothpastey bathroom? Goodness no. It's just such a relief when I can say to myself "Oh I am so glad I'm not alone."

So on Mother's Day, for all of you who have lived through the cleaning of way too much toothpaste, and way too many wet towels, you are amazing. Thank you for all you do. Toothpaste is just the tip of the iceberg where mothering is concerned. So hats off to you all, most notably my own mom.