Experiences and Musings

The other day while studying for my Doctrine and Covenants class I came across this quote by President Hinckley. "To you women of today, who are old or young, may I suggest that you write, that you keep journals, that you express your thoughts on paper. Writing is a great discipline. It is a tremendous educational effort. It will assist you in various ways, and you will bless the lives of many--your families and others--now and in the years to come, as you put on paper some of your experiences and some of your musings."

I haven't written much lately, and I've needed to. I hope you forgive me for using my blog as an outlet for some of my experiences and musings. If you want to skip ahead to the pictures at the bottom of the post, then I'll forgive you.

My life is considerably different than it was 6 months ago. I was crazy busy with kids who were admittedly overscheduled, church jobs that were highly demanding, but also very fulfilling, tons of wonderful friends and all the social activities that come with them, and a husband who was around quite a bit considering he did have a job and everything.

Things are suddenly more quiet. My church job is not at all stressful, but also not terribly interesting. (Piano for Primary, I love to play, and am happy to serve, but it's hard to get to know anyone from behind a piano), my husband's job is quite demanding and so we see less of him, my kids are doing a few key activities, but not anywhere near the madness we had before, and weirdest of all is that my kids are all in school all day. It's so strange after all these years to be faced with trying to remember who you were before kids took over your every waking moment.

Now, before you decide to give me a piece of your mind, let me say that I realize I have plenty of friends and relatives reading this who are thinking, "Oh, Jenn suddenly has tons of spare time, I wish I had a problem like that!" I know. As a mom, you spend years wondering if these darn kids are ever going to grow up and leave you with two seconds to yourself, and suddenly, they do. And it turns out, 8am-3:30pm is a long time to spend alone every day. In addition to that, most of them don't even need me much once they are home. They are generally old enough to fix their own snacks, clean their own rooms, do their own homework etc.

It would be better if I had a few fabulous friends around, but I left them all in Washington and Utah (one is Wisconsin too!). Hmmm, guess I didn't really think that through did I? I have tried to find things to occupy myself, like taking an online class and going to the gym a lot. It's actually really fun studying and taking tests again, but it's a go at your own pace kind of class, and I'm already several weeks ahead. Not trying to toot my own horn there, you would be that far ahead too if you had my kind of time. As for the gym, all I have to say is that I'd better look amazing by the end of this school year.

Anyway, I'm trying hard not to throw myself a daily pity party and this little post is actually about gratitude, and is my small attempt at proving to myself, and if I'm honest, probably to God, that I really do know that I have about a million things to be grateful for. I figure I'd rather not turn into a big whiney whiner who whines.

So what am I grateful for today? My kids. I miss their cute faces while they are gone. I'm grateful that Audrey and Tanner go to early morning seminary without complaining. It is really hard and I wouldn't blame them if they looked at me one day and said, "Um, I don't think so." I'm grateful for Lauren's extremely social personality. There are times in the past it's landed her in a little trouble at school, but it's been such a blessing this year. She is the lone Halversen kid at her brand-new middle school, and she's handled it so well. And finally, this morning I was getting the smallest two kiddos off to the bus stop. It is only two houses away, so usually I kiss them and off they go while I watch out the window or from the front door. I wave as the bus goes back by our house, but that's about it. Today they asked me to come down to the bus stop with them. Since this isn't our normal routine, suffice it to say, I wasn't ready. My hair was as as crazy as it always is when I've just rolled out of bed, and I was wearing old pajama bottoms and one of Gary's giant T-shirts. Oh yeah, I was looking smokin' hot. Oh well, I thought, and off we went. While at the bus stop Ethan and Annie chatted with me, held my hands, and hugged me good-bye. It didn't cross their minds once that I looked insanely ridiculous in front of their friends. With most of my kids now being teenager types, I guess I've gotten used to being a constant sournce of embarrasment for them. I am so grateful to have at least a couple of kids who still think that I'm the greatest no matter what. Kids have their fair share of moments where they make me nuts, but really, what would I do without them? Love you guys! -the mom


First Day of School Photos-